Don’t mess with the tartare


I’d just like to take some time out of this happy day to show my appreciation for tartare sauce. Random, maybe. But there is a story behind this sudden expression of love for what can only be described as a necessary accompaniment to any sea-related meal.

Saturday night found me and a friend ravenous on our return from a night out in Camden, and the only thing to eat after raiding the freezer was battered fish. An obscene amount for only two of us may I add. In our post-drunken stupor we searched the kitchen and on finding a jar of tartare sauce got so excited you’d think we’d discovered an entire feast of drunk food, but no, apparently tartare sauce is enough to satisfy our alcohol cravings. At the time we couldn’t imagine anything better to eat and this kickstarted a half an hour conversation about the beauty of sauces; all types of mustards featuring highly.

As our conversation evolved to include mid-life crises, board games and every other topic under the sun, we tucked into our fish and without realising it managed to devour the whole jar of tartare sauce. Yes, that’s a lot of sauce. I’m not entirely sure how this was possible. It surely must have been a case of tartare-with-fish rather than fish-with-tartare. Nevertheless, having finished our meal and thoroughly satisfied our drunken appetite the tartare love only increased. Rather than feeling sick from the amount of tartare currently inside us we complimented the beauty of the tartare. I think this proves that tartare is just one of those condiments you can never have too much of.

It may well be that the next time I approach a meal in which tartare sauce is involved there won’t be quite as much alcohol-fuelled excitement. But for now I am sticking to my belief that life would not be the same without tartare sauce.


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